we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
