walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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