Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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