So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
