i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize