she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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