I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
