Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
