New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I believe in your delicious
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
