Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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