He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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