You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Text me some of your sweat
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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