just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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