You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
