So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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