I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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