I'm so fucking centered right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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