He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
