this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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