if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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