also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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