A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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