Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize