You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
do nipples grow back?
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