I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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