I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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