Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need to calm my uterus...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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