Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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