He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
