Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
