First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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