She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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