Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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