I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
