direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just high enough for therapy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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