i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
