We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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