u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
