thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
