You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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