so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have tasted many bathrooms
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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