I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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