if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I cockslap morals
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
