Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
