You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
