the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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