So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Enjoy the penises
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
