I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
