Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
