at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
