yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
