margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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