so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
