At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize