Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
