Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
