Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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