you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
