so that wasnt chicken after all
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
