Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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