I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
