wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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