Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
