So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
