We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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