Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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